As a follow up to my post, "Things I Wish My Clients Knew," I'd love to...well, add to it!
After 3 years of running a boudoir studio, I feel like there's SO much information I have that I can't possibly pass on to my clients without overwhelming them with a deluge of information. As much as I want them to be prepared for their session, I also don't want them to drown in reading and prep work before their big day! These blog posts are an easy way to prepare clients, maybe even before they know for sure that they're going to book. One thing I know for sure, is that I want people to be armed with as much knowledge as possible before booking with me.
In that spirit, here is the continuation of things I think you ought to know.
The Post Session Homework is IMPORTANT
Yes, it totally matters! When a client books with me, they get a link to the "Now What?" password protected section of my website. This area is a client resource page full of information and resources to help a client prepare for their session with me. Not only is there ways to prepare for the session itself, there's ways to handle life afterwards! The post-session homework would not be on that page if it didn't matter. There's invaluable ways listed to help you maintain the high from your session, or how to cope with any negative feelings that might arise from viewing your images. That's important, because...
You Might Not React The Way You Hope
That's right! I'll be the first to tell you, a boudoir session is NOT a magic cure-all for body image issues. It's a significant part of that journey, for sure, but it isn't the destination. I'm not a magician who is going to fix decades of brainwashing that you aren't "good enough" as you are. And you know what?
That's completely normal--and okay!
There's nothing wrong with you if you see your images and don't feel an immense and sudden flood of love towards parts of you that you couldn't stand before. Lots of clients see themselves in a whole new light, but lots don't, either! At least, not right away. Seeing yourself in these poses, outfits, and setting can feel strange or even outright wrong. Just like the work of the media and advertisers who have been sending you the message for YEARS that you cannot and should not accept and love yourself as you are, it takes time for the message to set in. Doing the post-session homework, sticking with it, and importantly, viewing your images daily, plays a big part in rewiring your thought patterns and changing your internal dialogue about yourself. This is why...
Digitals Are Important
Truly, it isn't just a sales tactic. Having the digitals from your session means that you have access to ALL the photos from your session, and not just the ones you loved enough to get in an album. Being able to look at the images that make you uncomfortable is crucial to dissecting those feelings and getting to the root cause of them, so you can determine for yourself whether those feelings and thoughts are valid, or if they are rooted in a lie.
"Why don't I like this image?"
"I don't like looking at my stomach."
"Why?"
"Because it's too fat."
"Why do I believe my stomach is too fat?"
"Because it's too big."
"Too big for what?"
"Too big to look at."
"What happens if you look at it?"
"Well....I feel bad."
"Why do I feel bad?"
"I feel like an embarrassment."
"An embarrassment to who?"
"To myself."
"Does my stomach determine my worth?"
"No."
"What things make me feel not embarrassed about myself?"
"My smile. My helpful nature. My parenting style. My legs."
"Does the size of my stomach change whether these things exist or not?"
"No."
I Don't Copy Other Artists' Work
I always encourage my clients to send me inspo pictures they find on Pinterest or Facebook or TikTok! I love seeing what kind of images jump out to them. Is it black and white that catches their eye? Unusual lighting setups? Certain poses? There's always something about the images they send that ties them all together, sometimes that the client isn't even aware of. That being said, sending me inspo pictures does NOT mean that I'm going to replicate another artist's work. That isn't what I do, and it isn't my goal. I want to create something unique and special for each and every client, and not simply re-enact another client's experience. If there's another artist you really love images from, by all means, book with them! This is your special day, and it should be over-the-top luxury from start to finish, whatever that looks like to you.
You Are Worth It
I get a lot of potential clients on the phone to discuss what a session entails, how it differs from a regular "photo shoot," and, of course, general pricing. A lot of times the initial response is, well...shock! And I get it. It can be a really shocking thing to hear! Very often, clients want some time to think about it before they book. And that is AWESOME. I encourage that, and I think it's a great idea. Sit with the thought. Think about if it's something you really value. Think about if it's worth the investment. Think about if it's worth saving for, or taking on a payment plan for.
Then, realize that "it" = you. You are not worth less because your instinct is to continually put the needs of others first. You are not less valuable because you think your happiness comes last. You are not undeserving of something special because you think you haven't "earned" the right to celebrate your body.
Whenever you're ready, I'm here. Feel free to contact me about scheduling a phone consultation to discuss more details about a session with our studio.
As a reminder, I will be out on maternity leave in January and February of 2022, and returning with a lighter load in March and April. If you're interested in booking for next year, contact me now to reserve your date, as they will be limited!
