Originally, I wanted the blog post this week to focus on the boudoir experience, and the fabulous ways in which my team and I spoil our clients in an effort to make the session completely magical and unlike any other, from start to finish. But, as it tends to, life happened, and I felt pulled to go a different way on the fly.
Tomorrow I have my appointment with Friend of the Court to discuss child support/custody arrangements for my divorce. The packet of papers I got to fill out is about two inches thick, and it is THOROUGH. I haven't filled it out yet.
Work on the studio has ground to a halt while I try to find time to look for a new space for the bigger things that currently reside there. Due to the nature of my work, without my studio it's pretty impossible to schedule clients.
I still don't have a vehicle.
Yesterday, my sweetheart Rottie suddenly lost the ability to walk. He spent the night at the vet (shout out to Dr. Van Assche and the staff at Huron Veterinary Clinic who are absolutely the best) and so far hasn't shown any signs of improvement. I miss my good boy, my big baby bear. I'm worried.
I'm alone with my 17 month old all day, and she's great about entertaining herself, but she's still just a baby, and wants her Mama's attention. I love that I get to spend the days with her, but it doesn't leave a lot of time for dishes (which are piling up), or laundry (I can't even remember what clean clothes smell like, you guys), let alone scheduling clients and sending out contracts, managing my client calendar, writing blog posts, and marketing.
To say I'm overwhelmed would be an understatement. I'm stressed and scared as hell, and a little twitchy.
I'm also happy that I have so many things piling up. No, not just because it's going to give me a shot at an insanity plea if I go apeshit and start attacking mailboxes.
I'm happy because I've learned that the universe knows what it's doing when it seemingly shits all over us. Our biggest problems come from a lack of trust in the universe and the plan it has. Author Jen Sincero said "worrying is like praying for what you don't want." Putting out negative energy and focusing on what could go wrong isn't going to help anybody, least of all yourself. It's hard to take a metaphorical trust fall into the unseen, but it's necessary, and the best thing you can do for yourself.
When you're making big changes in your life, and trying to create the life you want to live in a big, "hell-bent for glory" kinda way, things are going to get scary. It wouldn't be great if it didn't. Everyone would be doing it if it weren't straight up horrifying sometimes. Fortune (and the universe) favors the bold. When so many things go wrong all at once, it's the universe testing us, making sure we're ready to take on the changes coming our way. If we can't put our heads down and power through the bullshit with gritted teeth and a "never say die" determination to reach our goals, then we can't expect to reap the rewards on the other side of that bullshit.
Life isn't easy. It's not supposed to be. How boring would it be if we never had to struggle for anything, never had goals to work towards or obstacles to overcome? Overwhelm is a part of life, and oftentimes the most beautiful and overlooked part. When things seem like they're getting to be too much, or that you're being crushed under the weight of the world, take a deep breath. Thank the universe for what it's about to bestow on you, because on the other side of the overwhelm is where things get good. You just have to push through.